We finally seem to be getting the hang of things. I think we have ourselves on a good routine now. It's still busy, but at least we know what we are doing and we can do it efficiently.
Karen and I were able to take Jewels and Myah to the beach on Monday, while dad stayed with mom. It was nice to get away for a few hours and not have to think about the routine. The girls loved it too! It has been so hot here (in the 100's), it was nice to cool off.
The last few days mom seems to just be getting weaker and weaker. She has no appetite so it is really difficult for her to eat and get her juices down. The juices are supposed to help heal her. The indigestion makes her not want to eat as well. When I first got here I was concerned of eating in front of her for fear that I would tempt her to eat something she shouldn't have. That doesn't even matter, because she doesn't get tempted by any food. She has no appetite. She said it's all she can do to get down what she's suppose to. She has to pray herself through it every time. Yesterday was the first day that she only had three of her ten juices and she only ate breakfast. Today she seems to be on the same track.
Yesterday she told me that if God doesn't heal her quickly then she is just ready to go to heaven. She hasn't given up yet, but she is getting close. She said she had no idea how hard this would be. She said it's not worth it. She does want to see her brother and his wife again who is due to visit on Oct. 16th. She is also looking forward to seeing my sister Kristi who is coming to stay for 10 days this Saturday. She saw all my brothers in AZ, but Kevin and Kyle will be coming on the 16th to visit again as well.
She even told dad, Karen and I to go ahead and start the process of looking into hospice care. She's not ready for them yet, but she said she probably will be soon. This has been very discouraging news to hear her talk like this. We are trying to keep hope alive for her and have told her we aren't giving up on her. We always want to support whatever she decides so it's a hard situation to be in. We don't like seeing her in pain and deteriorate before our eyes either. She thinks she is worse off then originally told. She said that she can feel cancer pain in her back, under her ribs and abdomen as well as her pancreas and liver. She was also told by the doctor here in CA that nodules were found on her lungs according to the hospital reports that he reviewed. The hospital in Tallahassee had not told her this.
Another thing to pray for is all the paper work of everything. She is supposed to get blood work done next week and we are still trying to work on getting medical for her. She has medicaid for FL, but it won't work here in CA. This has tied us up in being able to get anything else for her medically that she needs like blood work and scheduling another PET scan.
We are looking forward to Matt coming again to visit on Friday. The girls and I really miss him. He will be here for the weekend. We greatly appreciate all the love, care and prayers of everyone. Mom loves all the cards that she has received. Those are a great encouragement to her.
